Always
by Spikesnewgirl
Summary: Buffy and Angel's offscreen meeting in season 6 of Buffy and 3 of Angel.


Title: Always  
  
Author: Racheal Owens  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Buffy and Angel's off screen meeting in season 6 of Buffy, Angel season 3. Spoilers: None really apart from early Buffy season 6 I suppose.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters and settings are Joss Whedon's creation. They belong to him, not me. Distribution: Sure just ask me first. Feedback: Any comments or responses are welcome. Spikesnewgirl@go.com  
  
Buffy looked around at her surroundings; she hadn't really noticed them before. This is where she came to meet with Angel: not in Sunnydale, nor in L.A.; this was their special place. The meetings they'd shared here had always been too short and normally about some apocalyptic evil. Any other form of contact wasn't allowed. She shifted awkwardly on the bench where she was sitting and hugged her jacket tightly around her waist, though only out of instinct; it wasn't cold.  
  
Although her way of thinking, her dreams and emotions had changed since she'd come back, the slayer instincts hadn't. She looked in the lake directly opposite her, it was a dark night but the moon was full, and Buffy could clearly see the reflections that lay in the water.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Angel." She stood up, turned to face him, she hadn't seen him approach, but then again that's how she should have known he was there.  
  
"Buffy..." Angel said again, but words weren't needed, instead he reached out and touched her cheek tenderly, a million different feelings running through his body at the same time.  
  
They both sat down and Angel enveloped Buffy's tiny hands in his.  
  
Buffy looked at him, the familiar eyes that held such care, such concern for her. Being with him here, now, she felt more out of place than ever, but at the same time had a sense of belonging and acceptance she hadn't felt since she'd returned.  
  
Relishing in his touch but afraid of losing herself, Buffy pulled away. Her eyes had suddenly become watery, threatening to betray the false strength she'd forced herself to live with. Looking away briefly she recomposed herself, and turned back to Angel with a shaky smile.  
  
"Buffy, it's me, you can stop being strong." he spoke softly, gently coaxing her.  
  
"No," Buffy shook her head, willing him to understand, "I can't Angel, I can't. I have to be strong. I have to be strong, because that's who I am; I'm Buffy, the girl that's strong enough to deal with her mom dying, with being helpless when I'm faced with nearly losing Dawn. They expect me to pick my life right back up, to be able to accept that I've been dragged back here, after...after...." She stopped again letting out a sigh, not being able to find the strength to tell him.  
  
Angel looked at her, wishing he could wipe away all her pain, but he couldn't and he'd never be able to.  
  
"After what? Buffy, whatever you've been through...you can trust me."  
  
Buffy nodded slowly, before looking at him again. "Wherever I was, after I...died, I was happy..."  
  
For the second time that night the English language was of no use to Angel, what could he have said to that? Feeling all the love and care for her that had now been put aside, but not forgotten, never forgotten, come rushing back, he wrapped his arms around her. She laid her head on his chest, reminding them both of the short visit Angel had made to Sunnydale after Buffy's mom had died.  
  
"You'll have to leave out the next part." Buffy said in almost a whisper.  
  
"What?" Angel asked confused.  
  
Buffy looked up at him with heavy eyes, "Last time we were like this was just after...my mom, we broke the rules...we kissed." She finished her voice barely a whisper.  
  
Angel loosened his grip on her as he remembered that night.  
  
"You need to go, before the sun rises."  
  
Her voice said one thing, but her eyes were silently begging him to stay just that bit longer, just that bit closer to the forever they'd both once dreamed of.  
  
"Buffy...I..."  
  
"I know ...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...I..."  
  
But Angel cut her off, gently touching her lips with his thumb. He wanted to stay and it wasn't just the sunrise that drove him away; it was the fear that if he stayed with her he'd never be able to let her go. Slowly he traced the outline of her jaw, before brushing her lips with his own in the sweetest of kisses, touching her so delicately as if to make sure she was really there.  
  
"Angel..." She whispered, torn; half of her was desperate to kiss him back, rekindle feelings that were so familiar to her; the other half telling her that this was wrong; she didn't deserve the love that Angel was unconditionally giving her.  
  
Again Angel silenced her with a kiss, it was tender at first, but neither could deny the passion that was rising between them. As the intensity grew and the passion raged in a fiery blend of need and love, Buffy gasped her body trembling. Angel pulled her closer, tangling one of his hands in her long blonde hair.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity Buffy pulled away, and in a panic stepped away from him.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Don't Angel, please...don't." She whispered almost desperately.  
  
Angel stood up at this and took a step towards her. "Don't what? Love you?"  
  
"How can you love me?" She demanded her voice now thick with emotion. "I don't deserve love or...or happiness or I wouldn't have been dragged back here..." Tears were freely dancing over her skin now causing Angel to tentatively step towards her. Caught up in the force of her despair Buffy began to fall, but was steadied by Angel who cradled her tiny form in his arms until the sobs racking her body died away.  
  
Brushing the last tear from her cheek, Angel gently took her face in his hands and tilted her chin upwards forcing her to look at him. "Buffy, Listen to me. You deserve so much, so much more than anything on this earth can offer you. I can't promise that this is going to be easy for you, but one thing I know is that you aren't being punished and you aren't evil, no matter what you feel at the moment. You'll get through this... not right away, but you'll get through it. If you want me to, I'll come back to Sunnydale with you, stay as long as you need me."  
  
Buffy shook her head, her face sad but with an expression of grim determination. "No. I need to get through this by myself. It's easier that way."  
  
Angel let go of her and stepped back looking at her, as if drinking in her entire existence, knowing that it would be a while until he next saw her. "Right," he sighed, "I'd better..."  
  
"Go..." Her voice was thin. Not finding the strength to watch him walk away Buffy sat back down on the bench and watched the calm that lay in the silver waters, her eyes empty drained of all emotion.  
  
Angel slowly turned, his body becoming heavier with each step he took. "Buffy?" he finally said before disappearing. "You still my girl?"  
  
Surprised Buffy turned to look at him and smiled as she echoed the words she had whispered all those years ago: "Always." 


End file.
